


shame

by mamiana



Series: shame [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alien Biology, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Corny, F/M, Not Beta Read, Other, Self-Hatred, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24409753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamiana/pseuds/mamiana
Summary: An intimate moment forces Hordak to face his demons. Hordak and Entrapta share their insecurities towards their bodies.This fic is supposed to take place some time after the end of the show. Entrapta and Hordak are both adults. Hordak is trans-ish. Light A/B/O (see notes for more)
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Series: shame [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762747
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	shame

Entrapta and Hordak kissed passionately at the edge of the bed. It was their first real moment of intimacy, and they wanted to make the most of it. Entrapta broke away from the kiss and toyed with her shirt. She blushed shyly.

“I’m not usually this nervous.”

Hordak just smiled and ran his hand along her cheek. She smiled back and yanked the shirt off. Hordak got a close view of her plump breasts, squeezed together by a tight sports bra. Entrapta laughed at Hordak's stunned expression. Then she kissed him deeply on the mouth.

As they kissed, Entrapta guided Hordak’s hands to her bosom, until he cupped her breasts in his hands. His eyes grew wide as Entrapta moaned against his mouth, her face hot and flushed. Without thinking, he gently ran his thumbs through the fabric, along her nipples.

When he realized what he’d done, he stopped kissing and asked, “Is it all right--?”

“Yes!”

“Good…”

They fell back onto the bed, kissing each other lovingly. Hordak continued to squeeze and grope Entrapta’s breasts, flustered by her warm, soft touch. His face was burning. He wanted to explore her body more, but couldn’t shake embarrassing thoughts in his mind. This was going a bit fast for him.

Entrapta didn’t share the sentiment. Having conquered her initial anxiety, she was charged with excitement and energy. Until now, she’d written off sex as an improbability. She just assumed she'd spend most of her life alone. People didn’t understand her and she’d given up trying to change for them. But against all odds, here she was: her man fondling and kissing her undressed body. She discovered she really liked this… Now, she wanted a chance to return the favor! Impatient, she stopped kissing.

With a frustrated squirm, she asked, “Can you, y’know...take yours off, too?”

Hordak winced. His exoskeleton hid his deformities and made him strong. He did not want to remove it. It masked his true, shameful form from invasive eyes. But it was only fair for him to disrobe, and he trusted Entrapta like none other. So, he complied.

“Very well.” Hordak shed the armor Entrapta built for him. Only a robe shrouded his fragile body. Entrapta grinned eye to eye, and planted a kiss on his neck. He was startled by the sudden contact, and embarrassed by the press of her chest against his.

Noticing Hordak’s discomfort, Entrapta leaned her head and asked, “I’m sorry, Hordy. Did I scare you?”

“No,” he said swiftly.

Entrapta smiled. She lowered his back onto the bed. She kissed him gently on the neck, the jaw, then started nibbling on his collarbone. One hand traced his armpit, the other his wrist.

Hordak bit his lip. This felt good -- _too_ good. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like being pinned under Entrapta’s weight. Didn’t like the way his body responded to it.

Suddenly, he felt a hand slide under his robe, through the gap over his thigh. In an instant, he snatched her hand away. He snarled at her, showing his fangs. Entrapta froze. She started to apologize. But as she studied Hordak’s expression, she noticed something strange. Something under the veneer of anger. What was it?

Fear?

Entrapta hugged Hordak’s waist and averted her eyes. “I’m sorry Hordy. Are you okay?”

“No!” Hordak snapped. “I-I mean, yes. I’m...sorry, my love. Yes, I am fine.”

Entrapta sat to the side of the bed, regret pooling in her chest. She knew she had done something wrong, something that angered Hordak. But Entrapta could not pin-point what, exactly, she had done wrong. She struggled with social interactions. She was not good at “reading” people, and maintaining relationships did not come naturally to her. The thought of losing Hordak made her tongue dry up, but she had to say something. Her lover stared stiffly at the ceiling.

Without warning, Hordak stood up from the bed.

“W-wait, Hordak!” Entrapta cried, throwing her arms around his neck. “Please don’t go.”

Hordak said nothing, but gave Entrapta’s arm a reassuring squeeze. With his back turned, he removed his belt and robe. He moved her hands away and stepped away from her. Then he turned. Between his legs, there was a slit and a small nub, a couple centimeters in length.

“I know that I do not look like a human male.” He scowled, eyes studying the floor. “But even for my kind, my body is wrong.”

Entrapta’s brows furrowed with confusion and concern. The acid in Hordak’s voice set her on edge. She was not sure why she felt pangs of sorrow, but she wanted to understand him.

“A non-deformed clone has a phallus, like Lord Prime, and an orifice, like…like me. A normal clone can penetrate and be penetrated. But I am genetically defective. I have a vestigial phallus that cannot penetrate others. I can…I can only be penetrated.”

Hordak hated this humiliation. Though he tried to stand strong, his ears wilted on reflex. His legs trembled, his voice faltered. He could not look his lover in the eye. What a pathetic creature. _Aberration!_ He despised his own weakness...

“Oh, Hordak,” Entrapta smiled, meekly. “That’s okay. My body is wrong, too.”

Hordak’s face shot up.

“What?”

Without looking up, Entrapta pulled off her pants and removed her panties. She kicked the garments to the side. Hordak stood confused, unable to spot an imperfection.

“I don’t know what you call it in your language, but my labia minora are asymmetrical. One side is normal, but the other is, well, a little hypertrophic.”

Entrapta tried to smile, but could not belie the sadness in her eyes. Her voice trailed off.

“...Since I was born this way, I guess I’m genetically defective, too.”

Hordak grasped her shoulders and shouted, “No Entrapta, you’re wrong! Your body is perfect. It’s beautiful -- nothing like mine!”

Entrapta smiled sheepishly, then took a deep breath. She looked into his eyes and said, “Your body is beautiful too.”

A wordless sound escaped Hordak’s throat. He was taken aback. It was a lie, it was not true. But he saw no deceit in her bright, crimson eyes. He saw purity, light, and tears welling in her eyes.

Without a second thought, he kissed her on the mouth.

***

The two returned to the bed, holding each other. They gazed at the ceiling, listening to each other breathe without exchanging words. Finally, Entrapta nuzzled Hordak’s neck and spoke.

“Hordy, I don’t think you’re defective. You’re just different.”

Hordak didn’t say anything, but listened to her words.

“The word ‘defective’ implies a loss of function, but you exceed the required performance level in all of your capabilities.”

Hordak scowled, then chuckled darkly. “I **do** have a loss of function…”

“You can lie here with me. You can comfort me. You can love me…”

Hordak’s eyes widened, and he turned to look at her. Entrapta beamed.

“Technologically sound!”

Hordak couldn’t help but crack a smile, and cradled her head in his neck. They were so close he could feel the vibrations of her voice. It was a pleasant feeling.

“Technically speaking, the word ‘normal’ means conforming to an observed pattern. There’s nothing inherently wrong with diverging from that pattern. Virtually every person in existence isn’t ‘normal’ in at least one aspect. In a lot of aspects, I’m not normal, but that’s okay. You’re not normal either, and I love that about you! I find beauty in your differences, and...and mine too.” Hordak squeezed her hands. Entrapta paused, then rolled onto her belly. Turning to face him, she asked, “I’m sorry Hordy. Am I babbling?”

Hordak looked at her lovingly. “No, my love.”

Entrapta placed a hand on Hordak’s cheek and gazed into his eyes. “We don’t need to fit in.”

They kissed, feeling each other’s smiles in their mouths.

**Author's Note:**

> I put a strange amount of thought into this fic. I wasn’t sure whether to make Hordak flat-chested. I wanted to explore various possibilities, but prioritized a level of ‘unlikely possibility’. That is, I wanted to write a story that was highly unlikely, but possible to head-canon. So I did not want to include any details that directly contradicted established canon.
> 
> There’s a small, circulating fan theory about Hordak being transmasc. [ Some fans have pointed out that the garment he wears in this shot resembles a binder.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYbeEBCU8AAt1Yf?format=jpg) Another detail is curious. When shown without his armor, Hordak’s chest appears massive, while the rest of his upper body appears frail. [ This is noticeable when he is shown from the side. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EJEXR-xXYAEYHh1?format=jpg) Of course, I don’t think he was actually intended to be trans, but I can see how you could read into his “alien biology”.
> 
> However, there is a detail that contradicts this. [ In Noelle’s “wedding” artwork, Hordak is shown with a flat chest](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYEYoJIU0AEJftp?format=jpg&name=4096x4096). Due to the low cut of the dress, it is very unlikely he is (hypothetically) binding his chest. Therefore, it is probably safe to conclude that he is supposed to be flat-chested.
> 
> In spite of this, I am a bit fond of that fan theory. So I decided to leave out a description of his chest. It is ambiguous, so that the reader can imagine whatever they want.
> 
> To rehash the A/B/O elements: it's not exactly A/B/O, just similar. Horde Prime is the “”Alpha””, who has a massive phallus that knots in coitus. He does not have a vulva. Most of the Horde Clones are “”Betas””, who have smaller, average-sized phalli. Unlike Horde Prime, they have vulvae. Due to his genetic defect, Hordak is an “”Omega””, who has a rudimentary phallus and a vulva. His phallus is about an inch in size, and he cannot ejaculate from it. Hordak is not an “”Omega”” for natural reasons, but because of a mutation that interrupted normal sexual development. Similar to XY gonadal dysgenesis. He is sterile, and has additional genetic deficiencies that are unrelated to sexual development. Horde Prime and clones have similar reproductive organs to Etherians, but not identical. 
> 
> If you choose not to picture Hordak with a flat chest, I would imagine it like so: ""Omegas"" have breasts. ""Betas"" don’t normally have breasts. They can temporarily develop them in response to hormones that are released when they take the submissive position in breeding. Breast growth is only temporary, and the tissue eventually recedes. ""Alphas"" are flat-chested.
> 
> Should also mention that I debated whether they have cloacae or not. If they do have cloacae, I'd imagine the difference between an ""Alpha"" and a ""Beta"" is whether the cloaca lubricates and is designed for sexual intercourse. But I might have foreclosed that possibility, since I gave ""Betas"" and ""Omegas"" labia. I am no expert on anatomy... In any case, I hope the details are vague enough so that the reader can indulge whatever fantasy they want.


End file.
